The kitchen table
Carers comparing notes on the parts of this that nobody hands you a leaflet about: the week after a discharge, the tablets, the falls, the forms, and the nights. Maura reads everything and joins in; Dr Farhat looks in where the medicine matters. One rule that is not negotiable here: do not name the person you care for, and leave out anything that would identify them, because they did not choose to be discussed in public. Say "my mother" or "my husband" and nothing more. Threads close sixty days after the last reply.
The first weeks
The discharge, the handover that never came, and working out what the job actually is.- The ward will not tell me anything because of data protection, and I am the one doing everything at home. Where do I stand? 4 replies · last by dee1972, Aug 19, 2026
- Three months on from that discharge, here's what I'd do differently 4 replies · last by Lorna B., Jul 28, 2026
- She goes in on Thursday for a planned operation. Beyond pyjamas, what do I actually take in with her? 5 replies · last by Lorna B., Jun 22, 2026
- They're discharging Mum on Friday and I still don't know what I'm supposed to do about her tablets 5 replies · last by Lorna B., Apr 20, 2026
The daily round
Tablets, falls, muddled days, washing, eating, nights, and moving someone safely.- He walked onto that ward and eight days later he could not stand up on his own. Is that just what a week in bed does? 4 replies · last by ron-at-home, Jul 27, 2026
- Dad was completely muddled yesterday and back to normal this morning. Is this the dementia starting? 5 replies · last by ron-at-home, Jan 15, 2026
- Second fall in a month and everyone keeps telling me it's just what happens at her age. Is it? 4 replies · last by tomsdaughter, Oct 6, 2025
Forms, money and the system
Assessments, benefits, attorney, care fees, and getting a straight answer out of anyone.- My own operation is finally booked and there is no cover for the fortnight afterwards. How do people pay for that? 5 replies · last by ron-at-home, Aug 30, 2026
- Mum signed attorney forms years ago and nobody ever registered them. Now the bank will not talk to me. Is it too late? 5 replies · last by Lorna B., Jul 8, 2026
- I've cut down to three days a week and nobody ever offered me an assessment of my own. Am I entitled to one? 5 replies · last by dee1972, Jun 22, 2026
And you
Sleep, guilt, siblings, work, and whether you are allowed to want your life back.- I keep thinking she'd be safer in a home and then hating myself for thinking it. How do you actually know when it's time? 5 replies · last by stephen_58, Sep 14, 2026
- I was ill for two days and realised there is nobody behind me at all. Who is meant to cover when the carer goes down? 5 replies · last by K. McAllister, Jul 29, 2026
- I got angry with my mother on Tuesday and I've felt sick about it ever since. Does everyone do this? 5 replies · last by stephen_58, Jul 2, 2026