Medical Disclaimer

Most people arrive at a page like this after the fact. If you are here in the middle of something, work down the list below instead of reading the whole page. It is arranged by what is happening, not by what the law requires me to tell you.

Everything on The Care We Need is general information for family carers. It is not medical advice, it is not an assessment of the person you look after, and it cannot be a substitute for professional examination, diagnosis or treatment by a qualified clinician who has seen them.

If you are reading this because something has changed today

They are more confused than they were yesterday. New confusion, or confusion that comes and goes through the day, is a same-day call, not something to watch overnight. Ring their GP or family doctor and use the word confusion. Out of hours, use the urgent care number for where they live. Sudden confusion in an older person is very often caused by something treatable, and the treatable causes get worse while you wait.

They have had a fall. If they cannot get up, may have hit their head, are on a blood thinner, are in severe pain, or something looks out of shape, call the emergency number. If they got up and seem fine, it is still a call to their doctor within a day or two, because a fall is a symptom with a list of causes behind it and the second fall is usually worse than the first.

They have stopped eating or drinking. A day of poor appetite is not the same as a refusal of fluids. Somebody who is not drinking, or who is drowsy, or whose urine has gone dark and scant, needs a call today. Dehydration in an older person moves faster than most carers expect.

They are in pain and you do not know why. New pain, pain that is getting worse, or pain in somebody who cannot tell you about it and is instead agitated, groaning or refusing to be moved, is a call today. This site will not tell you what to give. That is a conversation with the prescriber or the pharmacist, who know the full list of what they are already taking.

You are unsure about a dose. Ring the pharmacy or the prescribing practice. They will take the call, and they would far rather take it than deal with what happens if you guess. No page on this site gives a dose, a dose change, or an instruction to give or withhold a medicine, and if you think you have read one here, you have misread it and I need to know so I can rewrite it.

You think they can no longer make their own decisions. Do not act on that assumption on your own. Capacity is decision-specific and is assessed formally, and a person is allowed to make choices you consider unwise. Speak to their doctor, and to whoever holds legal authority if anybody does. If nobody holds it, that is a conversation to start now, while it can still be arranged.

Their breathing has changed, their chest hurts, one side has gone weak, their speech has changed, or they are bleeding and it will not stop. Emergency number, immediately. Do not read anything else on this site first.

You are the one who is frightening yourself. If your own mood, your drinking, or thoughts of harming yourself or the person you care for are the reason you are on this page, that is your own doctor or an urgent mental health line where you live, today. Being a carer does not make this less urgent. It makes it more.

What this site cannot do

It cannot assess anybody. I have not met the person you look after, and neither has the reviewer. Nothing here is written about them.

It cannot tell you whether something is serious. It can only tell you which signs mean the question should be asked today rather than next week, and who to ask.

It cannot act for you. Nobody here will contact a doctor, hospital, council, insurer, employer or benefits office on your behalf, and nothing on this site is an application for anything.

It is not an emergency service and it is not monitored. Emails are read when I read them, which may be days. If it cannot wait days, do not send it to me.

Personal experience is not instruction

Large parts of this site describe what caring for my own mother was actually like. That is included because carers say it is the part they cannot find anywhere else, not because it is a template. One household is not evidence. Where a page moves from my experience to a general claim, it says so and cites a source.

Figures, systems and dates

Rates, thresholds, costs and statistics on this site carry the year and the country they apply to. They change, often annually, and they are not promises about what you will receive or pay. Where a page describes several health systems, only the section for your own country applies to you, and even then the decision rests with the body that administers it, not with this site. Check the current figure with the official source before you rely on it.

No clinical relationship

Reading this site, or writing to me, does not put anyone here in a professional relationship with you or with the person you care for. Dr Farhat’s review establishes that the clinical pages are accurate in general. She is not their doctor and cannot advise on them.

External links

Links here point to health services, statutory bodies and national carer organisations for further reading. Their content is theirs, not mine, and I cannot vouch for how current every page on another organisation’s site is.

Accuracy

I work to keep this accurate and to say plainly when something is uncertain or contested, but I make no warranty that it is complete or that it fits your situation, and any reliance you place on it is at your own risk. If you find an error, please tell me through Contact.